I’ve known her for about a year now. I’ve had a crush on her, and liked her since I’ve known of her existence. Recently, I’ve started speaking to her a lot, and we had our first date. That was the second time I’ve seen her since last year when we went to the movies as a group. Idk, I’ve suppressed almost everything I’ve felt for her over the year, and when I saw her last week, it felt like the chains I had in me started breaking. I’m pretty sure I’m going to make her not like me. The thing is, she’s not just about looks, her looks are on a level I cannot begin to comprehend, but her mind and soul make me quake, it scares me, she scares me. Her mind is really like the staircases in Hogwarts, but that’s perfectly fine because she has this ability to surprise you with every word she speaks, details about her, and by the gods, her voice. I wanted to hear her speak from the first day. Speak not just with her voice, but her eyes, the way they flare. I don’t like her because she has some quality I find redeeming or something I want. I like her because I looked at her and saw nothing, I felt nothing, but everything was right in front of me. She is her own emotion, and I am my own. I want to live off my own emotion unlike I’ve done with others in the past. I should probably mention what happens to me when I see a picture of her wearing one of her favourite lipsticks, it sends me fucking high. I can’t really type more words, I can but I can’t. In short, I like her and I just want to bury myself in my pillow whenever I think of her. I’m placing my hands over my face now, and just breathing thinking about her.
I also really want to listen to Arctic Monkey’s AM album with her. Especially the song “I Wanna Be Yours”
I feel much better typing this.